Saturday, 11 August 2012
A doctor's prescription
A woman who felt being cheated by her husband went to the pharmacy to buy DDT…
The pharmacist felt the woman was going to commit suicide after giving the drug to her, so he questioned the woman about what she was going to use it for.
But to his surprise the woman said: I am going to poison my husband.
Pharmacist: Ei! why do you want to kill your own husband … don’t you know that it’s a crime and punishable by law?...
The woman after several arguments with the pharmacist and having the feelings that the pharmacist could order for her arrest started crying, she brought out an envelope from her bag and dropped it on the pharmacy's counter.
The pharmacist opened the envelope only to see pictures of his “holy wife” and his client’s husband naked in bed…
The pharmacist shouted: “blood of Jesus!” ... You don't mean it... at least you should have told me you have a doctor’s prescription.
Smart Contractor
Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day.
One was from Nigeria, another from Germany, and the third from France.
At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living.
When they all replied that they were contractors, the guard said, "Hey we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don't you guys take a look at it & give me a bid?" So, to the back fence they all went to check it out.
First to step up was the German contractor. He took out his tape measure and pencil, did some measuring and said, "Well I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."
Next was the French contractor. He also took out his tape measure and pencil, did some quick figuring and said, "Looks like I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."
Without so much as moving, the Nigerian contractor said, "$2,700."
The guard, incredulous, looked at him and said, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
"Easy," he said. "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire the guy from France."
At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living.
When they all replied that they were contractors, the guard said, "Hey we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don't you guys take a look at it & give me a bid?" So, to the back fence they all went to check it out.
First to step up was the German contractor. He took out his tape measure and pencil, did some measuring and said, "Well I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."
Next was the French contractor. He also took out his tape measure and pencil, did some quick figuring and said, "Looks like I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."
Without so much as moving, the Nigerian contractor said, "$2,700."
The guard, incredulous, looked at him and said, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
"Easy," he said. "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire the guy from France."
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